Faith and the Other Five Senses

A Double Dose of Mom-Guilt — Finding God in Motherhood

smgianotti@me.com — August 23, 2016

Thanks to Seana Scott for this guest post in the Finding God at Work series, on how she found God in motherhood and particularly in her struggle with double mom-guilt. Read more by Seana at her blog.

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My alarm clock vibrates next to my bed and I hear my 2-year-old, Judah, singing, “I like to move it, move it” and dancing with two minion figurines. I grab my iPhone and catch Judah’s dance moves on video for the grandparents. Best alarm clock ever.

Moments like these keep me loving motherhood, but often as I send my boys to sleep with songs and a prayer, a question clouds around me: Am I doing a good job?

Motherhood is my calling, specifically Christian motherhood. This means I live with a double dose of mom guilt. I feel the usual pressure from mommy groups and Pinterest to make healthy meals my kids will actually eat, bestow homemade gifts on the world at large, and teach my boys to read by the time they walk (just joking—well, kind of) Continue Reading…

In Bible, Christianity, Confession, Faith, Finding God at Work, God, Guilt, Holy Spirit, Jesus, Mom, Motherhood, Parenting, Vocation, Work Calling, mom, motherhood, parenthood, vocation

Thank You, Olympians, for Helping Me Worship God

smgianotti@me.com — August 16, 2016

As I scroll through the Rio 2016 app on my phone, soaking up every video highlight, I wonder what makes the summer Olympics so mesmerizing. Maybe their infrequency helps them resist assimilation into the normalcy of life that is Sunday afternoon football or Monday night hockey. And I wonder about the inner life of Olympians. What’s it like to be Michael Phelps commuting home after one of those long days we all have, when nobody’s watching and everything goes wrong, wondering “Why am I doing this? Does it really matter?”

Sometimes I doubt the significance of my work as a nurse practitioner. And some of my stay-at-home friends wonder whether parenting and housekeeping is doing enough. Others feel unfulfilled in their work at the bank, school, or restaurant. But what about people who tumble and jump and swim for a living? Are the Olympics just another version of gladiator fights, less gruesome but equally excessive and ultimately pointless?

I don’t think so. While Simone Biles’s life as an American gymnast might look nothing like mine, she goes to work just like I do. If you’ve followed this blog, you’ve heard me talk about work as one of the ways we unfold God’s hidden potential in creation, displaying it for others to see and using it for their good, so that they can worship God more than they did before Continue Reading…

In Athlete, Athletics, Christianity, Embodiment, Embodiment & Incarnation, Faith, God, Holy Spirit, Imagination, Jesus, Olympics, People, Sports, Summer, Vocation, Work Athlete, faith, Olympians, Olympics, Rio 2016, Sports, vocation, Work, Worship

Finding God in the Flavor Lab

smgianotti@me.com — August 9, 2016

I’m thrilled to have Annette Uza, a friend from church, kicking off a new series of blogs about how people find God in their work. These guest posts will run on the 2nd and 4th Tuesday of each month. Subscribe on the right to get these posts delivered directly to your inbox. And, if you have a story to share, I’d love to hear it!

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On my fifty-third birthday I realized that my dad was only four years older than me when he died. As I faced the possibility of meeting Jesus than soon, my position as Director of Productions in a flavor company suddenly lost its appeal. I wanted my life to matter for eternity, so I decided to resign and find a job where I could really serve God.

I applied for a chaplain residency program and for the next two years clocked fifty hours a week at the hospital before dashing to both of my part-time jobs, one at the flavor company. I worked every weekend and holiday without a single day off. The schedule nearly consumed me, but as I sat in the emergency room with family members, holding their hands and praying with them while their loved one lay on the trauma table getting bullets extracted and head wounds stitched up, I believed my work mattered to God in a way that my old job never could Continue Reading…

6 Things I Learned about Myself from Reading Old Journals

smgianotti@me.com — August 2, 2016

When I sat down before a pile of old journals last month, I prepared myself for a barrage of adjectives and angst. The notebooks crowded around me like walls of a torture chamber—spiraled and thread bound ones, some covered with waxy Chinese paintings, others collaged with magazine cutouts. But I needed to fill some gaps in my memory and those journals held the clue. Two mornings and one headache later, I emerged, not only with the salvaged facts under one arm, but six surprising discoveries about myself under the other.

1. Some things never change. (A.K.A., I’ve always been a bit pretentious).

The opening page of my first journal, which I penned around the age of ten, states, “In this journal I will write down all my memories from my early years.” For some reason, I thought that the story of getting my first bed from my grandparents’ basement ought to be saved for antiquity.

Like that diary, I bestowed a title page on every new journal I cracked open, inspired by the importance of the words I had yet to write. I find that propensity, which I still fight, embarrassing, especially given #6 below.

2. My memory serves me well. (Or, at least it serves my ego).

One of the “memories from my early years” shocked me with its rendition of a story I’ve told several times when proving the point that I’m an introvert. I’d cried at a birthday party in kindergarten because the piece of paper under my plate instructed me to sing “Jesus Loves Me”—clear proof that I’ve always been an introvert. But that wasn’t the whole story. My journal revealed that I cried, not just because of the song, but because I wanted my paper to say, “Spank the birthday boy.” Apparently, I wasn’t that much of an introvert Continue Reading…

In Anxiety, Author, Christianity, Confession, Faith, God, Guilt, Holy Spirit, Jesus, Writer, Writing diaries, diary, discovery, growth, Guilt, journals, self-knowledge, spiritual growth, writing

A Few Words that Changed Me

smgianotti@me.com — July 26, 2016

“So, you’re here today about your blood pressure,” I said, my words trotting out. The key to a successful morning at a doctor’s office is to keep up the tempo. Fall behind schedule before 9 a.m. and you’ll have a morning full of grumpy patients waiting for you. I dropped onto the swivel chair and opened my laptop.

“Blood pressure looks great. How long have you been off the pills?” A couple weeks. She’d waited till after surgery like we’d discussed.

“Any new problems?” No, she felt great. Surgery had gone well. No other concerns.

Photo courtesy of Megan Au via flickr.com (CC BY-ND-NC 2.0)

I closed my laptop and slid the stethoscope into my ears. I couldn’t believe my luck, this was going to be the quickest first-appointment-of-the-day ever.

“Sounds good. Hope you have a great week!” I stuffed the stethoscope into my pocket and headed for the door.

“One more thing…” she said Continue Reading…

My Confession about Racial Injustice: I’ve Been Part of the Problem

smgianotti@me.com — July 19, 2016

This month, two black men were killed by cops, but that’s old news. ISIS also exploded a truck bomb in Bagdad, killing nearly three hundred, snipers in Dallas and Baton Rouge murdered eight cops. Then a truck barreled through the streets of Nice. Another eighty four dead. Why write about a couple of police-encounters-gone-wrong when the world’s got bigger problems?

Over the last several years, questions like that one let me sidestep the news about Trayvon Martin, Sandra Bland, or Rekia Boyd that fell across my path. I’d squint at the headlines from a distance and, like the Levite in the story of the good samaritan, cross the street and hurry past.

Photo courtesy of Cristian Carrara via flickr.com

Starting to Care

All that changed, though, when my coworker, Sham, showed me a video of cops manhandling black teens at a pool party. Something shifted. I started reading the articles I never saw about Trayvon Martin. I starting asking Sham about her experience as a black woman and mother of black boys. I began to see that the amount of melanin in my skin might have more to do with my experience as an American than I’d realized Continue Reading…

18 Ways to Savor Summer

smgianotti@me.com — July 12, 2016

During my childhood summers in Ontario, I’d bolt out of bed and check the red line on the thermometer outside the kitchen window, hoping it had crawled high enough for shorts. Summers were an endless glory of rolling down hills, jumping through sprinklers, and sucking on blue Mr. Freezies. Now, I’m more likely to start the morning by burying my face in the pillow, hoping to postpone the day’s busyness for a couple minutes longer.

One of the sad realizations of adulthood is that work days crowd July and August like ants swarming a scoop of ice cream on the ground. If we aren’t careful, we can spend ten months of the year waiting for summer to come, just to keep up our hectic schedules, blink twice, and watch the geese fly south. So, here are a few tips for savoring summer, even if you have to work overtime while the boss is on vacation.

Pause

Summer is about slowing down, giving yourself permission to sit on the deck and feel the day slip into a bath-warm night. You don’t have to take a week off work to slow down, you just need to be strategic. Here are a few tricks for shifting into a more relaxing gear Continue Reading…

In A Better World, August, July, Relaxation, Rest, Summer, Vacation August, Fun, July, Relaxation, Rest, summer, Sun, Vacation

A Prayer for the White Church in America

smgianotti@me.com — July 9, 2016

Lord,

We acknowledge that our lives in this country have differed from those of our black brothers and sisters. While we’ve experienced the common pain and grief of life, our skin color has usually exempted us from the cold looks, stinging slurs, and hasty gavels of discrimination.

We have, sometimes without even knowing it, repeated racial stereotypes in our hearts. We have at time, in our churches, failed to acknowledge injustice when it didn’t touch us personally. We have been inconsistent. We’ve prayed against the industry that rips fetuses from pregnant wombs. We’ve prayed against the beheading of Christians in other countries. We’ve prayed for villages ruptured by earthquakes and cities devastated by bombs. But we’ve ignored the injustice grinding down on the people who live in our own neighborhoods and cities.

Photo courtesy of Nancy Andrea D. via creationswap.com

We have failed to see. And failing to see, we’ve failed to care. And failing to care, we have failed to act. But as the list grows, of black civilians killed by individuals who’ve abused their power, we acknowledge that something is wrong.

Help us face a problem that we would prefer to ignore. Help us to remember that, as your children, you hold us responsible to care for our neighbors. Help us feel in the bowels of our faith your heart for the powerless, your anger at their oppression, and how you sacrificed your own comfort to bring them peace. Help us to face the heat of your justice and our own failure in neglecting it Continue Reading…

The Problem with Tithing

smgianotti@me.com — July 5, 2016

My friend felt guilty. A grad student and barely able to pay rent, he didn’t have enough money to tithe and worried that he was disappointing God. As I listened to the strain in his voice, it struck me that Jesus never taught about tithing.

Jesus’ silence on the subject is startling considering that money was one of his favorite topics. His voice fills the gospels with financial advice, stories about bosses, investors, and trust fund babies gone wrong. He admonished a rich businessman, commended a poor widow, and sent Peter to find their tax money in the mouth of a fish.

In the church’s current fascination with tithing, it seems we’ve lost the breadth of God’s interest in our money. We’ve settled for an Old Testament rule, adding it to our checklist of ways to please God; but, by drawing a line around a part of our income and packing it off to the church, an orphanage in Africa, or the homeless shelter downtown, we’ve restricted the scope God’s interest in our money and, as a result, shrunk our relationship with of him Continue Reading…

In A Better World, Bible, Christianity, Culture, Embodiment, Faith, Generosity, Giving, God, Holy Spirit, Jesus, Love, Sacramental, Tithing, Worship Finances, generosity, generous, giving, God, Jesus, Money, tithe, tithing, Worship