Tip #1: Do something unproductive, and enjoy it.
We’re adults now, which means we have jobs. And, unless we have the good fortune of being artists, our workplaces can suck us into the black hole of productivity. If we’re not careful, the work week (whether it comes packaged in forty, sixty, or eighty hours) can morph us into human doers—people who compulsively check our schedules while gulping down cereal and who send work emails from the bathroom at night
Photo courtesy of Sander Smeekes via unsplash.com
Lessons from the Other Half
The Doctrine of Productivity affects us all, but our married friends have an advantage. They go home to human beings that require them to be unproductive (a.k.a. spouses).
Just think about it. If married people want to stay married, they have to invest time (and plenty of it) in rather non-productive behaviors. They have to leave work to get home for dinner. Their spouses make them put down their phones and have real conversations. They go on date nights. And, then there’s sex—which, considering the number of kids most couples have, is rather unproductive.
We singles, on the other hand, fight solo against the Doctrine of Productivity. If there’s no one to go home to, why not stay late at the office? Why not get ahead? Why not just buy a cot and sleep there? Why not sacrifice our souls to become the next CEO? The next Mother Theresa?
We do well to take a lesson from the married folk: life involves more than productivity. So, go do something unproductive, and enjoy it.
But wait!
Doesn’t the Bible say just the opposite? Isn’t singleness a gift precisely because unmarried people can devote themselves completely to God?
That line of thinking comes from 1 Corinthians 7:34. Paul says that one of the disadvantages of marriage is that it divides a married person’s attention. She has to focus on her husband, as well as God. The unmarried person, though, can be “devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit.”
Does this mean married people get to enjoy chocolate fondu and a romp in the sheets, while all the single ladies have to pray in the corner? I don’t think that’s what Paul meant.
Sure, sex is off limits if we’re single and following Jesus, but why the fondu? Being devoted to God doesn’t mean we enjoy less of the world. Instead, he teaches us to enjoy life more deeply.
Listen to King Solomon, the wisest man of the ancient world. “[T]here is nothing better for people,” he said, “than to be happy and to do good while they live. That each of them may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all their toil—this is the gift of God.” (Ec 3:12–13). The gift of God—to enjoy life.
Productivity is not the gold standard of humanity. Even God rested on the seventh day. Just think of all the other things he could have made with that extra twenty-four hours. But, he didn’t, because he values rest and enjoyment. So, if we’re waiting for a spouse to justify slowing down and enjoying the little things in life, we’re not just missing out, we’re making productivity more important than God did.
So, don’t wait until you’re married. Go lay in the grass for thirty minutes. Rent a cabin with friends. Start painting again, even if you aren’t any good. Do something unproductive, and enjoy it.
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As usual I love reading yourr articles. It would have been nice to read these all the years I was single.
So excited to see the Field Guide debut! Great post- thank you for encouraging us singles!! I’m off to go be unproductive 🙂
I first read this as: a field guide to sunglasses. The picture of the person wearing sunglasses must have thrown me off.
Ha, that’s funny.
Man oh man, this is exactly what I’ve been searching for with how to be a kid again but couldn’t find the words! Married people also might have kids that force them to learn how to play again. I have friends who are married (without kids at the moment) and every Sunday they spend the entire day watching football. It is less about the football, and more about the inviting friends over and just eating and lounging for the entire day after church. Sometimes I think that this “lazy Sunday” is a married thing that I will someday reach–but why can’t I have a lazy Sunday now in singleness?! Thanks for your perfect words of encouragement!
Ashley, so glad this was helpful! I didn’t even think about kids when I wrote this. I have been thinking about how having kids would make the Christmas season more celebratory…it would make you do all the celebrating things… But yes, lazy Sundays. That’s something I’m working to embrace!