Archives For Singleness

Lessons on Singleness from a Kindergarten Teacher

smgianotti  —  February 2, 2015

A giant, purple muumuu cascaded over her large, mocha body as she sat in my exam room. I still suspect that catching cold delighted Mrs. Rodriguez*, since it gave her a reason to see everyone at the office. 

 

A retired kindergarten teacher, Mrs. Rodriguez carried around bucketfuls of pent-up love. Each time I saw her, I got a little dousing–a blue tote that reminded her of her beloved bluebonnets that I must see one day, a heart-shaped necklace at Valentine’s, or gas station burritos. 

 

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Photo courtesy of Phillip Howard via flickr.com 

 

“Best burritos in Rochester,” she said. “You’ve got to know where the real Mexicans cook.”  

 

That day, she proffered this gem: “Enjoy singleness, Shannon. Once you get married, you can’t just walk around the house tooting.” 

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How Dating is Not Like Buying a Car

smgianotti  —  January 10, 2015

Dating is not like buying a car. The Kelley Blue Book won’t help you determine–based on manufacturer, year, accident history, and specific features–the market value for the model you’re considering. 

 

Now, I realize this blog isn’t for everyone, but it may help that sector of dating singles who, like me: 

 

  • grew up hearing that we should only date people who were “marriage material”
  • have a Myers-Briggs personality type ending in TJ (thinker/judger).
  • self-medicate their decision-making anxiety with pro-con lists  
 

Unsplash 5243e9ef164a5 1Photo courtesy of Dietmar Becker via unsplash.com

 

Dating is risky business, so some of us gravitate toward the Blue Book method. Gather information. Assess cost vs. benefit. Compare. Only invest when we’re certain that we’ve found the best deal. 

 

It’s a good approach for buying a 2009 Honda Accord, but doesn’t help us get to know the man or woman eating tacos across the table from us. Because, unlike cars:

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A Good Year to Be Single

smgianotti  —  December 31, 2014

“Have you been dating anyone?” The inevitable question floated over church pews and hashbrown casseroles during my recent trip home. The question left me wondering if the success of 2014 rose and fell on my ability to snag a life partner.

 

On Christmas Eve morning, though, the conversation took a different turn. I was sitting at Leaf and Bean, sharing a cinnamon scone with my silver-haired friend.

 

“How is life going, really?” she asked.

 

1431 Picture Perfect FramePhoto courtesy of Travis Silva via creationswap.com

I took a sip of coffee and weighed my answer. I turned thirty-three in November, without a husband on the horizon. In my twenties I looked forward to these years, expecting to stay up each Christmas Eve wrapping gifts with my spouse–Legos and the latest Disney princess for our 2.2 children. Instead, I sleep on the twin-sized air mattress in Dad’s office and wake up to a Christmas stocking stuffed by Mom.

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