“Have you been dating anyone?” The inevitable question floated over church pews and hashbrown casseroles during my recent trip home. The question left me wondering if the success of 2014 rose and fell on my ability to snag a life partner.
On Christmas Eve morning, though, the conversation took a different turn. I was sitting at Leaf and Bean, sharing a cinnamon scone with my silver-haired friend.
“How is life going, really?” she asked.
Photo courtesy of Travis Silva via creationswap.com
I took a sip of coffee and weighed my answer. I turned thirty-three in November, without a husband on the horizon. In my twenties I looked forward to these years, expecting to stay up each Christmas Eve wrapping gifts with my spouse–Legos and the latest Disney princess for our 2.2 children. Instead, I sleep on the twin-sized air mattress in Dad’s office and wake up to a Christmas stocking stuffed by Mom.
But despite being unmarried and childless, I enjoy my life. Each morning that I arrive at the office, I hang a stethoscope around my neck and know that I’ll make a difference in someone’s life. Other mornings, I find a free table in the student lounge, crack open my textbooks, and cram my brain full of theology, media, and art.
Singleness–in 2014–had its perks. I could turn thirty-three without sewing a scarlet “S” on my shirt, for spinster. Society values my economic, intellectual, and artistic contributions regardless of my gender or marital status. My church, embracing the diversity within its pews, gives me a place to belong and welcomes me into its family even though I don’t have a nuclear one of my own.
“Of course, I want to be married,” I told my friend, trying to help her understand the wisp of clarity that teetered on the edge of my coffee cup. But even if my Facebook status remains at “single” for the next 365 days, I plan to make the most of it, because compared to every other decade, century, and millennium, 2015 is a good year to be single.
The Lord is faithful. Only in looking back do we sometimes see His perfect will, His faithfulness, His wise care for our lives.
Pat, this is so true. And important to remember looking forward.
Loved your comments, Shannon. Great perspective. God’s plan is always best, even though it may be very different, and usually is, than ours. Look at Mary and Joseph. I doubt that in their wildest dreams they would have dreamed up what actually happened in their lives.
Thanks Jim!
You are, and always will be, complete in Him. On the other end of the age spectrum it is the same….single but fitting into a couples world. He is still enough.
Ruth, I appreciate your reminder that we pre-marrieds aren’t the only ones who struggle. Sometimes its easy to get focused on my own woes that I’m not alone being alone.